<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Parental Decisions by kattahj</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894200">Parental Decisions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattahj/pseuds/kattahj'>kattahj</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Scenes from a New Ham New Fam [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Society (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Babies, Gen, Judaism, M/M, Parenthood, Sam Eliot/Gareth "Grizz" Visser (implied)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:29:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattahj/pseuds/kattahj</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Becca contemplates how to raise Eden Jewish in New Ham, and realizes that there are some things she'll need to discuss with Sam.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kelly Aldrich &amp; Becca Gelb, Sam Eliot &amp; Becca Gelb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Scenes from a New Ham New Fam [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722175</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Parental Decisions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to ShotOfPatron and Minutia_R for the beta!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I think we should have a party,” Kelly said as she handed over the nipple cream.</p>
<p>Becca stared at her. The jump from breastfeeding troubles to party was substantial. “What?”</p>
<p>“For Eden. To celebrate her birth.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think anyone is in a celebratory mood.”</p>
<p>“No, I know.” Kelly sat down and unzipped her jacket. “But it’s still a new life. And the expedition found farm land, so it’s not like <em>everything</em> sucks. I just feel like we should welcome her into the world somehow. It’d be like a christening. Or, well, not a christening, but…”</p>
<p>“A simchat bat,” Becca said.</p>
<p>“What’s that?”</p>
<p>“Welcoming a baby girl.”</p>
<p>“Right! How do you do one?”</p>
<p>“Well, there’s no set ceremony, it’s…” Becca halted.</p>
<p>She’d only been at a few simchat bats in her life and they had all been different. The Jewish community in West Ham had never been large, but there’d been one, and while Becca’s mom wasn’t observant, she’d usually pulled through enough to celebrate the holidays. Until the year when she’d been so drunk at Purim that she fell asleep on the sofa, while Becca got dressed up and went to the celebration alone. She’d played around with the Pressman girls, but with a lump of tears lodged in her chest.</p>
<p>When it was time for Passover, Jim Pressman had come around and invited Becca and her mom to Seder.</p>
<p>He’d kept coming, after that. Even on the holidays the secularized, theoretically interfaith Pressmans didn’t usually bother to celebrate. Even in the years when his bored teenaged daughters made other plans. Even when Becca’s mom was so badly off that Becca just silently closed the door behind her and prayed he wouldn’t ask.</p>
<p>They’d walk together, not usually talking much, and then they’d reach the Pressman house, or the synagogue, or wherever the celebration was held, and Becca was met by people she always thought of as that large extended family she’d never had. In some ways, meeting for the holidays made her feel more secure and at home than her own house ever did.</p>
<p>Now, there were only a handful of Jewish kids left in town. They had gathered for the High Holidays, a measly little congregation huddled in a living room. The synagogue was still locked, and it hadn’t felt right to break the doors open. Without a rabbi, shofar, or even a Sefer Torah, they had tried to carry on the liturgy as well as they could. Most of them fasted for Yom Kippur, though Becca, with the baby in mind, had opted out. So had Allie, who pretty much only came along at Becca’s request anyway. Maybe she, like the rest of them, had felt the need to keep the tradition alive, to survive in dwindling numbers like so often before in history. Becca was grateful that they’d been able to carry it through, but nobody had suggested trying again for Chanukah. The thought of having a simchat bat with that sad little group was downright depressing, especially since she knew a couple of those kids were pro Lexie, and Allie was locked in a wine cellar.</p>
<p>On the other hand, doing it with the whole town, in the church or cafeteria, vastly outnumbered by gentiles, was even worse.</p>
<p>And then there was the whole issue of the name. Sure, she could claim her daughter as Eden bat Samuel, but was that any way to start her religious life, with a lie?</p>
<p>“Maybe just a regular party,” she said slowly. “Not everybody, just a few friends.” She hastened to add, “You’d be invited, of course.”</p>
<p>Kelly smiled. “That sounds nice. Are you still going to make her Jewish, though?”</p>
<p>“She <em>is</em> Jewish. She doesn’t need a ceremony for that.”</p>
<p>“Right. Sorry. I just thought since Sam isn’t…”</p>
<p>“It’s matrilinear,” Becca said tersely.</p>
<p>Kelly watched her with a small frown. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t,” Becca said, though it wasn’t the whole truth. The questions stung, more than they had any right to. And it had never occurred to her to talk about religious upbringing with Sam. “I’m going to have to think it over. The party thing. But it’s a good idea, I think. And thanks for the cream.”</p>
<p>“Any time,” Kelly said, standing up. “Let me know if there’s more you need. There’s not been much demand for baby stuff, so the shelves are still stocked.”</p>
<p>“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you!”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam was unusually subdued that night, and seemed as deep in thought as Becca, herself. After feeding time, he helped to get Eden changed and put her to bed, then they sat on the bed by the crib, signing silently so as to not wake up the baby.</p>
<p>“Kelly thinks we should have a party for Eden,” Becca started.</p>
<p>Sam tilted his head. “And what do you think?”</p>
<p>“Yes. But not with everyone, not the way things are right now. Maybe just Kelly, Gordie, a few others.”</p>
<p>He nodded. “Good idea.”</p>
<p>“And… there’s something else. I want Eden raised Jewish. You’re okay with that, right?”</p>
<p>“Obviously.”</p>
<p>“No, don’t just say obviously like it’s all my decision. We’re supposed to be co-parents. That means we’re both responsible.”</p>
<p>Sam made a grimace. “What do you expect me to say? That I want her raised Christian? You know how much I hated church. How terrible it made me feel. You… don’t feel that way. Your religion makes you happy. It’s a no-brainer.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“Although it does make me relieved that she’s a girl. I don’t think I trust Gordie with a circumcision.”</p>
<p>“Sam!” Becca said out loud, smacking him lightly over the shoulder with the back of her hand</p>
<p>He laughed.</p>
<p>“Seriously, though.” Becca lowered her voice to a whisper and kept signing. “If there’s anything else you want for her upbringing, just put it out there.”</p>
<p>There was a moment’s pause as he mulled the question, then he replied, “I want her bilingual.”</p>
<p>“Come on, that’s a given. That would be a given even if you weren’t going to be the father.”</p>
<p>Sam gave her a pointed look, suggesting that he knew another aspect of Eden’s upbringing that was equally obvious.</p>
<p>“It’s not the same.”</p>
<p>His eyebrows shot up, and he smirked.</p>
<p>“It’s not,” Becca protested. “It’s still bi-lingual. Two languages. If you wanted her raised on ASL only, that I might have a problem with.”</p>
<p>“Point,” he acknowledged. “I hope I’m allowed to say that agnosticism is still an option.”</p>
<p>“Oh, believe me, it’s entirely possible to be an agnostic Jew.”</p>
<p>“Good! No problem then.” His face stilled, and he seemed in deep thought. When he started signing again, it was with some hesitation. “What if there’s something I want for myself, not Eden?”</p>
<p>Ah, Becca thought, here’s the heart of the matter. “Like what?”</p>
<p>His eyes wouldn’t meet hers. “What if I wanted a boyfriend?”</p>
<p>Maybe she should have expected it, but she hadn’t, and was at a loss of what to say. “I thought you said there was no one you would want?”</p>
<p>“I may have been wrong.”</p>
<p>“Is there someone in particular who is... ? Who? No, wait, I know you can’t just out someone. I’m okay with it. I think. No, definitely okay with it. I want you to be happy.” It was with some trepidation she asked the next question. “What about Eden? Do you want to back out?”</p>
<p>“No!” He vocalized that, and the sign was sharp, loud. “I want to be here for her. For both of you. Can’t I do both?”</p>
<p>How would their little family fare with a boyfriend added to the mix? It was a new thought to her mental landscape, but it took only a little effort to accommodate. “I don’t see why not. There have to be tons of dads who have boyfriends. Maybe not in West Ham, but elsewhere. New York. San Francisco. Anyway, we make our own rules here, don’t we? Who’s going to tell us no?”</p>
<p>His smile was wide, though tears glittered in his eyes. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Of course. Don’t ever feel you have to hide from me.”</p>
<p>There was a pause, when the shadow of what she was hiding stretched between them. For a moment, she thought he might ask, again, and that this time she might actually answer and destroy everything in the process.</p>
<p>But he didn’t.</p>
<p>“So, Chanukah?” he asked instead. “We’re doing that?”</p>
<p>“Nobody’s suggested it, so maybe just the three of us.” She smirked. “Unless you want to invite your boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“I’ll ask him.”</p>
<p>“Oh, wow,” she said out loud. “You actually <em>do</em> have a boyfriend. Not hypothetical. Now I’m curious.”</p>
<p>Sam blushed.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. I won’t ask. Four, then. If Mystery Man decides to make an appearance.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There will be at least one more standalone ficlet in this series, possibly more. (I can promise the one because it's half written, but I don't have the attention span to promise more.) Ratings, ships, and character focus may vary.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>